Subject: The Eleventh Trip Report From: "Bill Lehecka" Date: Thu, 4 Jul 2002 02:29:45 -0400 Newsgroups: alt.fan.letterman (Here's my report. It's a little late, but I'm really busy lately. I'm hoping to have my web page redesign by next week, but it looks like it'll be tight. Hope you enjoy my take... -B.L.) ---------- On Thursday, June 20th, 2002, I, Bill Lehecka, made my eleventh trip to the Ed Sullivan Theater to witness a taping of the "Late Show with David Letterman." This taping was for a Friday show, which now means I have attending a taping of the Late Show for every day of the week (Monday through Friday). Being that I like to give everyone a perspective of what's going on in my life leading up to "DaveCon 2002" (a gathering of fans of the Late Show and Dave from all over the globe). Let's review where I was: June 19th, 2002: I'm still working at Virtual Flow Interactive Media (My Second Year at the Company). In late January, my boss and I decided to go to the gym on a regular basis. She was almost 3 months pregnant, and I was nearly pushing four bills again. Combine that with my general unhappiness and meltdown late last year, I figured I needed a change in lifestyle. The gym slowly became a general routine. Every night at 9PM, I'd go in, do 2-3 miles on the treadmill, 2.25 miles on the elliptical machine, 10-11 miles on the stationary bike, and every other day, lift anywhere from 100 to 300 pounds, mainly on my upper body. Nearing four bills became nearing three bills. 95 pounds later, DaveCon 2002 came upon us. I left work at 6 PM to go down to Long Island to stay at my sister's place. It was fun to drive with my very own EZ Pass... No major news on the highways, except for a slow-up on 684. Repaving is fun, especially when you have to drive on grooved pavement. I hate driving on grooved pavement. I arrived at my sister's place at 11:30. She immediately wanted to go out. I could use a nosh, so we went out to a diner. I ate a hamburger (which, I'm slowly finding out, is my travel food of choice). We got back to her place, and I went on the Internet to check out train schedules. After that, I went to bed. A big day was nigh. June 20th, 2002: Waking up at 9AM, I took a shower and got myself prepared. I listened to Tony Kornheiser, my radio friend and fellow displaced Long Islander. Anne-Marie drove me to the Stuart Manor train station where I would go to Jamaica, then change trains to Penn Station. Nothing exciting happened on the train ride over... except for this little exchange. I just finished Tony Kornheiser's new book ("I'm Back for More Cash," available at Amazon.com and other fine book retailers). The train was just about to stop in Jamaica, so I got up to get out. While waiting to stop, I overhear this conversation from a man with a mountain bike waiting beside me: "Hi, it's Iago... Where's Svetlana???" I was repeating this line for the entire night... >From Penn Station I walked the requisite 20 blocks to 53rd Street and Broadway. Once arriving, I went into the CBS Store. Traci wasn't there this time to stop me from buying worthless crap, so I bought a new Late Show cap. I placed myself under the marquee and called Traci to see where she was (I was early, 1:30). Traci answered the phone as some kind of answering service thing, but I wasn't paying attention. She was already inside the Manhattan Chili Club, so I just came up. I saw Traci and exchanged pleasantries. She said I wasn't lying about the weight loss... Because I would if I found it profitable. I ordered myself up a club soda and Traci told me about her day before at a Daily show taping. At this point she handed me the official DaveCon 2002 button. Was it anything? I don't know, but the button put forth this query... After 15 minutes, more AFLers started to filter in. Now is the moment of this report where I name-drop continuously, plus add a tinge of humor for no reason other than for my own amusement. The attendants of this year's DaveCon 2002 were the following: -Helen Read (Little, but AFLer of the Century) -Traci (Goddess and Cookie Baker) -Lance (The person I must sit next to for every show or the world will implode upon itself, setting off a massive fireball that will engulf us in a hellish blaze that can only be stopped by liquid nitrogen or the stop, drop, and roll method...) -Carl (Banana Boy) -Renee (Ticket Wrangler and Pugilist) -Kate (I WAS born in NYC!) -Brad Hill (Full of moxie... Now sit your ass down!) -Sarah (Ann's daughter, who I didn't really talk to at all. I must have had some rare form of cooties) -Chad Riden (Camper and Resident Funnyman) -Steve (Donz 6.0) -Karen Lynch (Surprisingly not intoxicated, and the only one with the guts to feel my biceps. Give her some credit!) -Shirlee (FOXYSCRIBE, and I have nothing) -Ann (Malficent, still nothing) -Brady ("I've come to depend on the kindness of strangers...") -Rona (Nope, I can't think of anything funny... This is what happens after Impressions, I become witless) -Greg (WESTERNER99, and I didn't see a leis on him) -Cheryl Levenbrown (Did not tote a lunch this time) -Cathy D (Unfortunately I couldn't walk with her to Penn Station this time) -Libby (Man, I'm lost here.) -Micah (Harold Hill) -Dave Sikula (Bushy and full of love... I don't know what that means...) -Rocco (I can't think, I need morphine) -Nick (Tall and quirky) -Marilyn (Quirky and tall) Karen and Brad, as always, arrived fashionably late with the official DaveCon 2002 shirt. Brad has one in an extra small just for me!!! After chatting it up with AFL luminaries and posing for pictures in an infinite amount of ways, we went down in line to get our tickets for the night's taping. We were dotted again, which is always a great honor. This meant that we'd be in the first few rows, right next to Dave. After getting our dotted tickets, we were instructed to be back in line no later than 5:55. I don't have entertaining stories about the pages because none of them looked like anyone famous. The CBS Pages should look like famous people. When they do, I'll talk about them. The group went back up to the Chili Club to relax in nice air conditioning. We were served by a really cute waitress. *Writer's Embellishment* It was at this point I decided to use the power of the dance to entrance this vixen. I whipped out my cape and danced the tango. After my 5 minute rendition of "Tango Por Una Cabeza," she looked at me and gave me an approving gaze. Affirmation, baby! We left immediately and dined on $3 cans of soup... *End of Writer's Embellishment* At 5:30, we decided to go down and line up immediately. We were let in to the inner bowels of the Ed Sullivan Theater where the dotted people were given a speech by that Annette Funicello look-alike. Marilyn went up and down the line handing out a choice of either Altoids or Ice Breaker mints. I wanted an Ice Breaker mint, but was expecting her to pour them into my hand. What a faux pas!!! The only thing I can say about Annette's presentation is that it contained 40% wooing... We were eventually led into the theater. I sat next to Lance (No world Implosion tonight!) center stage in the first row. The Load-In music was playing and the whole group was really excited. I mean, I've done this Eleven times, but you still get a chill up your spine waiting for a taping. There's so much energy and excitement inside the Ed Sullivan Theater that it feels like Con Ed doesn't have to worry about brownouts. Eddie Brill, the Audience Warm-up Man, came out to introduce a video, Dave Talks to Kids... Again... How old is this? It's just so old... After the video Eddie went through his usual spiel of rules and regulations, plus getting us excited for the crucial, mind blowing audience shot in Act 5. This shot was so important, some people might have to put on their makeup (for me, I'd have to add a little eye-liner...). Of course, this audience swoop would be under a Late Show Comedy Bit, but you gotta get the crowd excited for SOMETHING. I mean, Dave isn't enough, right? The band might rock, but the crowd has to be pumped for their 2 seconds over national airwaves! Eddie introduced the band. Felicia Collins was not among the band members. Brad immediately cried out, "I want my mommy!!!" While the band was jamming to their two warm up pieces ("Basket Case" and "Dance to the Music"), I was singing along feverishly. One of the CDs that I burned has the Late Show warm up music, by the original artists, in the order it's played. After the uproarious ending to "Dance to the Music" Eddie asked if we were ready for Dave. The crowd said no and made Dave wait 5 minutes to adjust themselves and light one up, since smoking can't take place DURING the taping... OF COURSE WE'RE READY TO SEE DAVE!!! Dave busted out and took a look up and down the aisles. I gave him a nice wave, and he didn't wave back... I think he actually gave me the finger... And I didn't see a construction site at all... Dave talked about how he had a couple of margaritas before the show and was a tad shit-faced. Dave also talked about the three types of shows, of which I don't remember at this moment, but the last one was blows, which is what Dave was insinuating. Dave asked if anyone had a question, AFLers hands were raised. I raised mine sheepishly, because if I was picked, I would be hog-tied and beaten with a cast iron baseball bat. I personally didn't need to have a back adjustment tonight. Dave did pick on one of us: Mr. Brad Hill. He introduced himself to Dave, and Dave introduced the crowd to Brad. Brad's moment in the spotlight caused him to turn where his back was to Dave. Talk about cojones! Dave was running out of time, so Dave asked Brad to sit down...The show was started without a hitch. Tonight's show featured Connie Chung, Comedian Gary Mule Deer, and a special visit via satellite from Bruce Willis, who was helping Biff Henderson out with his map. The CBS Mailbag segment ran long because of Bruce's hijinks, but it was really funny. I just love Bruce in comedy situations. The rest of the show was funny... I've given up writing Impressions, so I'll leave it to people who have taken up the slack. I did notice that Tony Mendez was looking at me a couple of times during the taping. I'm just that recognizable. The show ended and the pages were trying to whisk us out of the building... But Mr. Tony Mendez had a surprise. Tony was armed with Walter Kim, the cameraman for the Tony Mendez Show (TMS), an Internet-exclusive show. Tony invited all of us up on stage (all 26 of us) for the show! Did you see the shows? If you didn't check out these archives: http://www.cbs.com/latenight/lateshow/dave_tv/ls_dtv_tony_mendez_shows.shtml Find anything referring to DaveCon 2002. I tried to plug Tony Kornheiser's book "I'm Back for More Cash" during the show, but those CBS Weasels edited it out! Tony, the greatest guy in the world, took us all on a tour of the theater, like last year, and let us pose for pictures! During the tour of the Ed Sullivan Theater, Mike McIntee slipped me the night's script. Pretty cool! After the tour, we had to run to get our reservations at Martini's which was just up the block. We sat down for dinner, which was fabulous. I had a nice salad, a sirloin steak, and Crème Brule. It was wonderful. The events of dinner kind of happened like this: -Candy Necklaces handed out. -Tom Cronin Phone Call -Phone Pass -Seeing pictures of Dave Sikula's Wife -Visits from Tony Mendez and Mike McIntee -People filtering out slowly... Dinner was wrapping up, and it was time to go our separate ways. I was one of the last people to leave. My sister was just coming off of work and was going to drive into the city to pick me up. While waiting for her, this man came up to me and asked for a dollar to get on the subway. I didn't have any dollars on me, so I couldn't help him out. Can I ask you kids a question? Why is it people who have bad breath tend to be close talkers. Well, I had a 10 minute conversation with this man, mainly because I feared for my life... He finally left, and all was well. Anne-Marie finally showed up, and it was off to her apartment. I got home, and I slept. It was fun, but I needed to rest. The next day, I relived the experienced in my brain and watched the TMS on the Internet. It was choppy, but hey, there's me! That night Anne Marie and I went to a Mets game where the Mets played the Kansas City Royals. On Saturday, I left to come back to Saratoga Springs. What was the only thing I was thinking of during the trip? No, it wasn't the TMS. No, it wasn't the exciting Mets game. No, it wasn't about the excitement of the trip. It was this: "Hi, it's Iago... Where's Svetlana?" Let me take this time to thank Traci and Renee for organizing this extravaganza, to Brad and Karen for the wonderful T-shirts, and for everyone else in the group. You all are wonderful people. I can't wait to see you all again! -- Bill Lehecka (OldMatador@yahoo.com) http://www.oldmatador.com/letterman/