Subject: Re: DaveCon 2002 -- The Minority Report
From: klynch4296@aol.com (KLynch4296)
Date: 24 Jun 2002 16:35:40 GMT
Newsgroups: alt.fan.letterman

Brad Hill, a poor excuse for a Faceless Pod Person and *apparently* unable to
distinguish the difference between purple and navy blue, wrote a funny, yet
somewhat inaccurate, Trip Report ...

<< My own DaveCon experience started with a tangle of bad communication and ill
intent. I was to meet Karen at her office for a companionable stroll to the
Ed. Not a difficult commitment for a normal adult to fulfill, this
arrangement was apparently too daunting for Karen, who probably wished to
escape being seen while still unsteady from "lunch." Whatever her reasons,
Karen's evasive plan involved a set of obfuscating instructions plus
scheming complicity with a half-dozen croissant-shop managers on 6th and 7th
Avenues. I finally caught up with her just as she made a pass at a
hot-dog-stand manager. She handed me a piece of gum in a halfhearted
pacification of my injured feelings, but I could tell she didn't give a
damn.>>

This was yet *another* example of your not paying attention to what I say (or
write).  Ladies and Gentlemen, I gave Brad *specific* instructions regarding
the Croissant Shoppe location.  So specific in fact, that I thought how silly
to be so detailed about this -- I chuckled about the specificity, in fact.  And
he STILL went to the wrong place. It's hurtful to me that he so dismisses my
every utterance ... hence, confusion ensues and there are bad feelings
all-around.  

<<Newbies! I met Micah, who turns out to be astonishingly young for a lad of
his deep expertise. No doubt DaveCon provided a perfect opportunity to
neglect his studies.>>

My biggest regret of the evening ... besides agreeing to meet Brad earlier  ...
was not getting a chance to talk to Micah very much at all.  As a matter of
fact, I am embarrassed to say that I didn't even realize that was Micah until
dinner ... when I asked the folks in my immediate area (Traci, Carl, Shirlee,
Sikula, Nick, etc.) why didn't MICAH come to DaveCon?  I knew he had been
invited and wondered why he didn't come.  They all said HE WAS HERE, YOU IDIOT!
 Well, Nick, especially, ripped me apart for my stupidity, as he is wont to do.
 I had been introduced to Micah in the flush of excitement as I arrived at
Manhattan Chili Company earlier ... but in the din of the restaurant, I thought
he had said his name was MICHAEL.  I thought MICHAEL?  Who is Michael?  And I
didn't get a chance to speak to him further the rest of the evening ... so I
could have figured it out. What a loser I am.  Sorry, Micah.  I hope you'll
come again next year ... so you can sit beside me at dinner ... and *regret*
that I ever figured it out!

<<Steve Ellis turned out to be barely less enigmatic in person than he is on
the board, but a nice chap who loosens up a bit once you throw him into the Ed
Sullivan Refrigerator. >>

Now Steve I did get to talk to ... at length.  What a pleasant, sweet
individual.  So refreshing compared to some of the Ass Bitch regulars. Steve
promised me he would start contributing more to the newsgroup in the future.

<<Brady, who speaks with a
southern accent but is actually from Alabama, is as amiable and easygoing in
person as in his Late Show reviews.>>

Absolutely!  It was great to have a fellow southerner in our midst. WE give
this bunch of heathens some class!  

<<I met Dave Sikula, who looks as
unhappily skeptical as Dave Sikula should.>>

Dave Sikula is not particularly Cranky in person! DAMN  [:(] Plus he has the
BEST laugh ... infectious as hell. He showed me a picture of his new house ...
and I think I saw the window of the room I'll be staying in when I visit ...
just waiting for the *Official* invitation which I'm sure will be forthcoming. 


<<Cyber and Marilyn were around, I guess. Whatever.>>

I got to rub Cyber's ankle for a few minutes ... I hope it was as good for him
as it was for me.  And Marilyn *watched*.  Sick.

<<Painfully (for us) absent were Greg Anderson, Bob Stroud, and Kathie. I'm
not sure it's really DaveCon without Kathie,>>

Kathie?  You mean the gal who cops silverware from the finer eating
establishments?  Yeah, I missed her too.  Whatever.

<< but something very similar to
it did transpire, complete with T-shirts, buttons, candy necklaces, and Tony
Mendez. Karen claimed specious credit for the T-shirts, just because she
designed and hand-stitched them.>>

"LAKERS" COLORS  [:(] "LAKERS COLORS"  [:(] Why me, Lord?

NOTE TO SELF: Never send a color-blind mochachino-a-holic who lives in a van
down by the river, but has excessively clean venetians, to pick out T-shirt
colors.  And, btw, this was yet another instance where Brad doesn't pay
attention to anything I say.  It's very upsetting.

<SNIPPAGE OF TOO MUCH INFORMATION ABOUT THE HI-HO BABES>

<<In the lobby, Marilyn performed her sacred Altoid ritual with a new twist,
offering a choice of flavors.>>

Also in the lobby, Foxy and Brad and I had a *fascinating* conversation about
whether or not there are any GOOD comedians who are also GOOD-LOOKING.  We
explored this topic extensively and could come up with very few who fit that
category ... the theory being that most good comedians are kind of
goofy-looking.  I think DAVE is handsome and sexy but he is also a little
"goofy-looking," I'll admit.  I suggested Jerry Seinfeld was pretty nice
looking ... but Shirlee said he was "too gummy and squinty."  I suggested Ray
Romano ... she shot that down too ... I forget why. I found out that Shirlee
has very high standards in the looks department. As I said, FASCINATING stuff! 
 This morning I thought about Steve Martin ... Handsome AND Funny ... there you
go Shirlee!   

<<Some clapping spattered through the crowd, encouraged by the hammy fellow
himself who turned around and gravely acknowledged the audience as if he had
just received an award, first the sides and then the center, soaking up and
extending the applause as, behind him,>>

You're a hopeless, attention-seeking pain in the ass.

<<* Dave (Letterman, not Sikula) got a kick out of Mule Deer. He was smiling
and laughing at the bits, watching in the desk monitor,>>

I LOVED watching Dave all through this ... he was tickled by Mule Deer, for
sure.

<< Like last year's visit, Tony was patient and
encouraging about snapping photos. He wanted to be sure all the newcomers
got a turn. >>

Tony is a truly special individual. I can never thank him enough for taking the
time to entertain our little group ... l love him to death.

Good report, Brad ... even with all the inaccuracies and misreprentations of
events .

Karen ... "Just kidding about the purple shirts ... I LOVE purple and gold
together, really ... I think those were my high school colors ... well, they
SHOULD have been!"