Helen's DaveCon 2003
Trip Report
Part II: The Big Show
At 4:30 we lined up outside the Ed, in numerical order according to ticket number. There was a little bit of extra security for Hillary Clinton, but nothing really major. Traci was disappointed that Dominic, who was searching bags, forgot to frisk her (she had asked him to when we saw him earlier in the day). Soon we were in the outer lobby for the pre-show instructions. We screamed and hollered during the audience prep, and let out such a huge roar when they said we were there for Show #2000 that we actually startled the staffer who was giving us the spiel. Everyone in line, not just us, was totally pscyhed to be there. The staffer (don't know her name, but she did a good job) told us that the guests would be Hillary Clinton and Emmylou Harris, but didn't mention Roger Clemens. Traci correctly surmised he'd be doing the Top Ten. Normally at this point they warn you that the bathrooms are closed for the duration of the show, but this year (this must be new) they said that if anyone didn't think they could make it for an hour, they should ask to be seated in the back of the balcony, where they could be let out during the commercials.
5:00, in we go! The AFL group was seated down in the front, right behind the dotted people. We occupied, I think, rows 3 and 4 of the center section, as well as the first two and a half regular rows in front of the band (I'm not counting those two seats in the very front as a regular row); I'm not sure if we had anyone over on Alan Kalter's side. I was in the second regular row on the band side. Everyone was so pumped by now that we were clapping in time to tape recorded music. Eddie Brill even commented on that when he came out. Hey, we were a little loopy. Nothing wrong with that.
The warm-up was about the same as usual. Eddie came out and told a joke or two, they ran some tape on the monitors (Dave at the Taco Bell etc.) which I didn't watch (I'd rather watch the activity on the stage), then Eddie introduced the band and we really made a lot of noise. I found myself unconsciously clapping on the afterbeats of the music, instead of on the downbeats with everyone else; years of concert band horn parts, especially the marches, will do that to you. Sid wasn't there, and Will was too busy coaching Sid's sub to fling guitar picks into the audience (too bad; we were in the perfect spot to catch them). After the first song (which they do without Paul), Eddie introduced Paul, who bowed to his constituents. Near the end of the band's song with Paul I saw someone (I can't for the life of me remember who it was) give Paul a countdown, and sure enough, when he got down to zero, Dave made his mad diagonal dash across the stage. That's really one of the coolest parts of the whole show. That's when it suddenly hits you that Dave is here. Dave. David Letterman. The David Letterman. I mean, you know intellectually that Dave is going to be there, but it's hard to quite believe it emotionally until he comes running out on stage.
Dave chatted with the audience a minute, and I can hardly remember a word he said, because I was once again dazzled by the stageside beauty of Mr. David Letterman. I immediately shot up my hand when he asked if anyone had a question, but was too far to the side to catch his eye. Dave called on Micah, who was sitting right smack in the center, the perfect Q & A spot. Micah asked if there would be dogs and ponies for Show #2000, seeing as how Dave always calls the show a dog and pony show. Dave made a quick reply, the band started up the theme, Alan began the opening announce, and Dave ran offstage so he could make his grand entrance. When he came back out, he began the monologue by saying that the dogs and ponies would be here later. Coolness!
The show went by fast. Much of the time I couldn't see Dave (my view was obstructed by cameras and other equipment), so I looked around at the other activity onstage. If you go to a taping, don't waste your precious time in the theater looking at the monitors. What they show on the monitors is what you'll see when you watch the show at home. Watch Dave whenever you can see him, watch the band, watch Tony Mendez, Alan Kalter, Maria and Barbara, and the various staffers running around onstage. Feast your eyes on the beautiful sparkly set. Ignore the comedy clips playing on the monitors during the commercials; it's stuff you've already seen, and now's your chance to sit back and listen to the band, and watch what goes on during the breaks.
After the monologue, Paul played Dave over to the desk with 42nd Street. I was hoping for Stompin' at the Savoy, but that's just me. Laurie Diamond tap danced to 42nd St., so that was cool. Dave and Paul talked about Hillary a bit, which was pretty entertaining, especially the stuff about Buddy the dog ("Isn't he dead?") Later on someone handed Dave a card informing him that the Clintons' new dog is called Seamus, though I don't think this made it into the show (I'll have to check the tape).
Then we had an Osama tape congratulating Dave on his 2000th show. When Osama said that he tapes every episode, and that he's running out of room for the tapes and needs to find a bigger cave, all the AFLers turned to one another and said "Donz".
The main comedy for Act 1 was a Biff pre-tape (Biff goes to the prom), which isn't the best thing to see in the theater, since you have to look at the monitors to see it. I would have preferred some live action on the stage, but what can you do. I did glance up at the monitors once or twice during the tape, but mainly tried not to since I'd see it when the show aired. The highlight, of course, was Biff modelling the prom dresses.
After the first commercial break, Roger Clemens came out for the Top Ten. After some confusion, we decided we ought to stand up for him, what with his winning 300 games and all.
Next, Hillary Clinton. Dave is always great with the serious guests, and did a good job interviewing Hillary. Most of Hillary's answers seemed a bit rehearsed, but that's pretty much to be expected for a politician. The one question that seemed to surprise her was when they were talking about Bush's tax cuts for the wealthy, and Dave asked what the average salary is. Hillary said $50,000 to $70,000, and if that's anywhere near accurate, I'm definitely in the wrong line of work. She also said that some people have to get by on less than $25,000, a fact that seemed to flabbergast Dave. I guess if you're a gazillionaire, that really would be hard to imagine. And no, I'm not in the less than $25,000 bracket, but unlike Dave, I can imagine it.
Hillary loved listening to Paul and the band. She was really getting into the music during the breaks, bopping her arms and legs and head, practically dancing in her seat. Hey, the band sounds fantastic in person, and besides, moving around helps you keep warm in the theater :-). I don't think I've ever seen Dave talk to a guest during the breaks before, but he did talk to Hilary. During one of the breaks someone came out to touch up Hillary's makeup, and I also saw Dave throwing pencils at Tony Mendez to get his attention. There were some desk conferences during the breaks, but Dave looked happy, and we didn't witness any ass chewings.
Emmylou Harris blew the roof off the dump. Dave sat quietly in the dark for most of it, watching on the monitor in his desk, but in the middle of the song he actually turned his head and watched Emmylou directly for a while. I'm not a fan of the popular music, but I enjoyed this.
The Act 5 audience shot featured Dwight, the Trouble Teen. I had trouble hearing it over the band and all the clapping (we were instructed to applaud throughout the entire shot).
All too soon, the show was over. Dave took off his jacket and said good night, and off he went. It was a good show, and a fantastic audience (not just us, but the whole audience was extremely enthused and making a lot of noise all night).
Helen Read