DaveCon 2005
Helen's Huge Honkin' Trip Report, Part II
Monday, May 16
After a somewhat overpriced continental breakfast in the hotel lobby (for some reason the hotel restaurant was closed during my stay), Traci and Carl came up to my room to drop off some of their stuff for later. After they left, I set off for the Museum of Modern Art, only to bump into Carl and Traci a couple of blocks from my hotel. After leaving them (again), I soon came upon a big traffic jam on the sidewalk. Everything was blocked while a TV crew taped something with a Famous Celebrity who turned out to be Charles Durning. (Make up your own writer's embellishment.)
Onward to the museum. There was a long line to get in, but I had no backup plan, so I decided to wait, and it wasn't bad once the line finally started to move. MOMA has only recently reopened after the big renovation / expansion project, so I had not been in it in a few years. I didn't have time to see it all -- it's huge now -- so I mostly concentrated on paintings. I checked out a lot of famous works by Warhol, Picasso, Dali, Magritte et al., and was particularly pleased to see one of my all-time favorites, Van Gogh's The Starry Night.
After MOMA, I headed back to the hotel to regroup, and Traci and Carl came up to change clothes. Traci, who was determined to ask Dave a question during the pre-show Q&A this year, put on a borderline slutty outfit to try to get Dave's attention. Apparently she was hoping he'd call on "You, the woman with the breasts" :-)
Then we headed up Broadway to the Ed Sullivan Theater, where AFLers were already gathering. We stopped in to say hi to Rupert, and to ask if I could put an AFL sticker on the beverage cooler. Rupert said sure, go right ahead.
The stickers, by the way, were pretty easy to make. I made the design (a Eurostyle oval with "AFL" in block letters, blue on white) on my computer and printed them out on 8.5 by 11" blank label paper from Staples, three stickers to a sheet. I also made up a few TMS stickers in the same style, different color (red on white). The hardest part of the whole operation was cutting out the oval shape with scissors.
After Rupert's, we went up to Angelo's, right next door to the Ed. Many AFLers were already there, with more arriving by the minute. We fortified ourselves with pizza and some delicious chocolates from Bob (aka Nekk), passed out DaveCon buttons (from Traci) and AFL stickers, took pictures of each other, and just had fun talking to our online friends in person. I'm sorry I didn't get to talk to everyone; that's one problem with having such a large group.
At 5:00 we went down and got in line to claim our tickets for the second Monday taping, which would air on Friday, May 20. We no sooner got down there when a CBS page named Heather pulled us out of line, got us checked in, and issued 25 tickets, each with a handwritten "CBS" on it. Some years we have gotten dots, other years regular low-numbered tickets; this was the first year we were in the "Guests of CBS" category. Heather was fantastic, and did a great job streamlining the check-in process for us. After we were all ticketed, she went way beyond the call of duty, borrowing our cameras to take some group pictures of us under the Late Show marquee. The entire LS staff was great, by the way; everyone seemed to know we were coming, and they all welcomed us like old friends.
A few of us chatted with Eddie Brill and Bill DeLace for a while, and gave them stickers and buttons. Then Brad and I went over to Rupert's (Brad wanted to see the sticker). Soon after, Bill Delace and Dominic cleared everyone out of the deli and off the sidewalk so they could tape a bit with Ray Romano, who was a guest on Monday's show (which was in progress). We saw Romano walk out of the theater and into Rupert's, wearing pants that had been cut into shorts and a cut-off tie, which we learned on seeing Monday night's show was an homage to the old bit "May We Turn Your Pants Into Shorts?" that Dave did on the night of Romano's very first appearance on the Late Show. Ray gave us a little wave and said something like "It got pretty rough in there" when he came back out of Rupert's.
Soon it was time to go back to the theater. The guests-of-CBS ticket holders (us) and dotted ticket holders were brought into the inner lobby, where a CBS page whose name I didn't catch did a nice job with the pre-show instructions. Yeah, we've heard it all before (no wooing, etc.), but she was respectful of the audience and made it a lot more pleasant than has been some years.
Just when I was beginning to wonder if Marilyn had neglected to bring the Altoids, she came down the line with an open tin. They were curiously strong.
Soon we were led into the theater. The AFL took up most of rows 3 and 4 in the center section, with a few spilling over to the side section in front of Alan Kalter. I was in row 4, dead center, with Traci on my right, Brad a couple of seats beyond Traci, and Rocco, Dake, and Micah to my left. We were in perfect position for the Q&A; we'd be right in Dave's line of sight.
Eddie Brill came out and did the warm-up. He told a few jokes, gave us some reminded us not to woo, etc., and, how cool is this, he gave the AFL a shout-out. After showing the Dave Works at Taco Bell footage on the monitors, Eddie introduced the band. Anton was a little late getting out there when his name was called, for some reason; the others were punctual. The band played a couple of songs without Paul, then Eddie introduced Paul and they played a bit more with him. Eddie introduced Biff and maybe a couple of others, then Alan Kalter. And then....here comes Dave himself running diagonally across the stage. I've been to the show several times, and every time, it just about stops my heart when Dave comes running out. Even though I know intellectually that Dave will be there, it's still a complete and utter surprise when he comes running out. That right there is worth the price of admission.
Well, you'll have to read Traci's trip report for the full details, but suffice it to say, Traci managed to get called on, basically by raising her hand as soon as Dave got out there. Her question was whether Dave would be her partner for the Amazing Race. Dave seemed genuinely amused. There was also an unprecedented *second* question, from someone in the back who was quite insistent. His question had to do with so-called "Letterman factor" (which he claimed caused the economy to decline due to sleep deprivation in LS viewers). Dave made reference to the Letterman Factor during the show.
OK, showtime! The band struck up the theme, and Dave dashed off stage to get ready for his grand entrance. At the last possible second, Tony Mendez came running in to take up his position. He was very late, and ended up getting in the camera shot. From where I sat I could see that Tony was completely out of breath from running. He told us later that he had been given some last minute stuff to put on cue cards, and had to come running down (from his office?) when he heard the theme start up. He said that they would reshoot the opening the next night (Dave would have to put on the suit he wore for our show), but in the end they used what they had. You can see Tony get in the way of the camera shot in the show that aired.
I had a great seat this year. While I couldn't see Dave during the monologue, I had a direct line of sight when he was at the desk. Often he is completely blocked by equipment, but this year I had a small window between the camera and the big black box (which has a monitor and a clock) through which I could see Dave perfectly. The guests were blocked, but who cares. I was there to see Dave, not the guests.
They packed a lot into the show. First, there was a very long edition of Late Show Week in Review. Dake leaned over afterward and made some comment about how I didn't look very amused by Week in Review. Well, it's not so much that I didn't enjoy it, as that I didn't pay much attention to it. Most of it required watching on the monitors, something I try to avoid when I'm at a taping of the show. Whatever is on the monitors you will see on TV when you get home. When you're in the theater, ignore the monitors. Take the opportunity to look at the beautiful set and watch what is going on onstage. Watch to see Dave's reactions, check out the band, and look around to see what the various LS staffers are up to.
Throughout the show, a dentist would be performing root canal on a patient in the Green Room. I stole a few quick glimpses of this on the monitors. Most of the AFL was completely grossed out by this, but I can't get enough of this kind of thing. Love it, love it.
The highlight of Week in Review for me was the one involving Alan Kalter with splotchy red make-up all over his face. I had a direct line of sight to Alan, and as always he really sold his bit (make up your own joke).
Something that Eddie had told us in the warm-up is that they have tightened up the breaks during the tapings. Instead of sitting through a long break the same length that the commercials will be, they now keep most of the breaks to more like 30 or 60 seconds. The shortened breaks definitely helped keep the pace going. After Act I, we got a very brief break, and then it was time for "Will It Float?" Tonight's item: a loosely packed ball of ground beef. Just loose meat, no packaging. I forget what we were playing for, but the meat sank. It was a little disappointing that WIF ended up getting cut before broadcast (there was just too much show), but it was great fun getting to see it in the theater. Carl just about fainted seeing Kiva in all her finery.
The guests were David Arquette, and chef Gordon Ramsay. Arquette was not terribly interesting; the highlight was Dave's unexpected sneeze in the middle of the interview. Ramsay apparently does a reality show (I've never seen it) in which he goes around to failing restaurants and tries to save them. Dave thought it would be a good idea to send him over to Rupert's. Well, after the bit with Ray Romano, we saw Rupert lock up the deli and go home. There was much back and forth discussion between Dave and Barbara Gaines about locating Rupert, and finally, very late in the show, we learned that Rupert was on his way back. Ramsay was a bit of a jerk with Rupert, complaining that the chicken sandwich was both dry and greasy (how can it be both?), bitching about the price, etc. We booed the guy. Rupert was a very good sport about it, though, and it won't hurt his business any. Of course, the highlight of this was glancing up at the monitor to see, right there on Rupert's cooler, my AFL sticker, plain as day. I refrained from wooing, but Brad caught my eye and mouthed something like You Rock.
After one last quick commercial break, that's it, we're done. Dave takes off his jacket, says goodnight, and off he goes. The show went by incredibly fast.
Now, this is the point where the LS security and the CBS pages herd everyone out the doors. We, however, stayed planted firmly in our seats. A couple of weeks earlier, I had written a letter to Tony Mendez, as I do each year, telling him when we were coming. (This whole thing started back in 2000, when I met Tony by chance while waiting to take a tour of the Met. Tony still remembers this.) Tony never answers my letters, but he always gets them, and he always comes back out for us after first running off stage to get rid of the cue cards. So we stayed put, despite the staffers trying to shoo us out the doors. We just held our ground and insisted that we're with Tony. Finally, Jay and Walter came out, webcam in hand, and Tony sooned joined us. Oh, and Al Chez came out to say hi to us. (I gave everyone stickers.)
Tony and Jay and Walter had an extra special Tony Mendez Show planned for us, based on Dawn of the Dead. They had a script, props, the whole bit. I love the more cinematic, scripted episodes of the TMS (such as the Trilogy of Terror), and it was an absolute blast to do such a cool episode ourselves. Our episode, Con of the Dead, starts out with us sitting in the audience. (They moved us over to the side in front of Alan Kalter's station for this.) Tony comes out to greet us ("Has it been a year already?") and explains that this year he thought we'd do something a little different--we'll have a little Q&A. Mark Leckner, Pat Fleet, and the Almighty Donz ask Tony questions; Tony is mean to them; we turn on Tony, and rush the stage. The tape then goes to black and white, as we attack and devour (!) Tony. Bill Lehecka runs off with Tony's (ok, a prop) leg. My immortal line: "I got the arm! I got the arm!" Bill and I are then seen hunched down gnawing on the fake limbs. The sausages were put in afterward. The episode ends with a shot of a skeleton. Coool, huh? Oh, and I got a copy of the TMS script, autographed by Tony Mendez.
During the taping of the TMS, we saw the dentist and his patient having a grand time posing for pictures at Dave's desk. Brad, meanwhile, was taking pictures of *us*, rather than participating in the Con of the Dead scenario. I'm glad someone documented the whole thing, and am looking forward to seeing Brad's pictures.
After the TMS, which we finished shooting in the dark so that the crew could turn out the lights and go home, Tony graciously stayed to give a backstage tour for the new people. The rest of us went over to the West Bank Cafe for the post-show party. After giving the new folks their tour, and shooting Monday night's TMS, Tony came and joined us at the West Bank. ("Con of the Dead" needed editing, music, etc., and would be posted later in the week -- Friday, as it turned out.)
As always, Tony was great fun to hang out with. He's by far the nicest cue card guy I have ever met.
After the West Bank more or less threw us out (they were closing), we walked over to Hurley's, conveniently located literally two doors down from my hotel. I decided to skip Hurley's and call it a night. I'm sorry I didn't get to say a proper good-bye to everyone.
Helen Read