Helen's Dave-o-rama
picture of a pie

The AFL Dave's Mom's Virtual Thanksgiving Pie Virtual-Thanksgiving-Pie-Guessing Contest, 2007

Extremely Official Rules

picture of an early PM314159 programmer

An early Pie Machine programmer, c. 1995

  1. Because 3 is the closest integer to π, the Pie Machine 314159 will make a random choice of three pies from its extensive database. We refer to this as virtually baking three pies, or baking three virtual pies. The object of the game is to correctly predict the three pies virtually baked by the Pie Machine 314159.
  2. To show their solidarity for the striking writers, Pumpkin and Cherry will not be participating this year. These flavors have been deleted from the pie database. The PM314159 will show its support by not baking pumpkin or cherry pie.
  3. All virtual pies virtually baked will be served to virtual WGA picketers.
  4. One entry per person.
  5. Three pies per entry.
  6. All participants are expected to be viewers/fans of the Late Show with David Letterman.
  7. A maximum of one entry per household is preferred. We encourage members of the same household to team up and submit a single joint entry.
  8. If for some reason you insist on submitting two entries from the same household, you must make your guesses independently of one another. Coordinating two entries from the same household is prohibited.
  9. No more than two entries per household (and again, we'd really prefer only one per household).
  10. The deadline for entry is 11:30 p.m. EST on Wednesday, November 21, 2007 (that's 04:30 UT on Thursday, November 22, 2007 for our international friends).
  11. No wagering.
  12. Void where prohibited.
  13. I like pie.
  14. Adherence to the rules is by the honor system. However, the Pie Committee reserves the right to reject entries if warranted, and may cancel the contest at any time if it ceases to be fun for them. Remember that this is only a game. It's a pie contest, for crying out loud. There's nothing huge at stake here, and if you try to cheat you really are a jerk.
  15. The decision of the judges is final.
  16. Eligibility
    • Members of the Pie Committee (Helen Read, Traci Gilland, and James Langdell) are not eligible for the Grand Prize. In fact, they really should not submit guesses at all this year (especially HPR, who will program and operate the PM314159).
    • Due to the unusual circumstances this year, members of the Late Show staff, including those on strike, and even's Dave's Mom and her immediate family are all eligible to participate.
  17. Scoring
    • Each correct pie guess is worth 3.14 points. You do not need to guess pies in the same order that the Pie Machine 314159 virtually bakes them.
    • Pie ingredients are commutative. For example, if you guess "Walnut-Apple" and the Pie Machine 314159 has virtually baked an "Apple-Walnut" pie, you get full credit.
    • Partial credit may be awarded, at the discretion of the judges, if you get one or more of the ingredients in a multi-ingredient pie correct.
    • Partial credit will not be awarded in cases of frivolous multi-ingredient guessing, which is defined to be a pie-guess involving more than three ingredients. For example, if you guess "Coconut-Walnut-Blueberry-Chocolate-Banana-Cream pie", you get no points unless the PM314159 unveils a Coconut-Walnut-Blueberry-Chocolate-Banana-Cream pie, or something damn close to it.
    • A score of at least 8 points is required to win.
  18. Sudden Death Pie Overtime If no contestant has earned at least 8 points after the Pie Machine 314159 has virtually baked three pies, we will go into Sudden Death Pie Overtime (SDPO). During SDPO, the PM314159 will virtually bake additional pie(s) until at least one contestant reaches a score of at least 8 points. As soon as one or more contestants reach 8 or more points, the Pie Machine 314159 will cease all virtual baking operations.
  19. Breaking Ties. In the event of a tie for the most points (8 or higher) after regulation play or SDPO, we will go to the Tie-Break Question. The winner will be the contestant, of those still in the running, who comes closest to guessing the number of Virtual Pie Utterances. If there is still a tie for first place after the tie-break question, we will go to the Hat Method. In the Hat Method, whatever entries are still in the running will be loaded into the Pie Machine 314159, which will choose a winner at random.
  20. Who cares about all that. What do I get if I win?
    • Grand Prize. If you are the lucky Grand Prize winner, you win an actual home-baked pie, baked especially for you by Traci. Visit the Official Pie Prize Wonderland for full details from Traci. You also win bragging rights on alt.fan.letterman. You may use the title "AFL Dave's Mom's Virtual Thanksgiving Pie Virtual-Thanksgiving-Pie-Guessing Grand Champion 2007" in your .sig for all eternity, or as long as you feel like it.
    • Runners Up. If you tie for the most points, but do not win the Tie-Break, you may use the title "AFL Dave's Mom's Virtual Thanksgiving Pie Virtual-Thanksgiving-Pie-Guessing Runner-Up 2007" in your .sig for all eternity, or as long as you feel like it.
    • Losers. All participants other than the Grand Champion and the Runners Up are permitted to use the title "AFL Dave's Mom's Virtual Thanksgiving Pie Virtual-Thanksgiving-Pie-Guessing Miss Congeniality 2007" in their .sig for all eternity, or as long as they feel like it.
  21. Notification. A summary of the pie entries received will be posted on alt.fan.letterman after entries have closed. Sometime after they have eaten their turkey, the Pie Committee (Helen, Traci, James) will fire up the Pie Machine 314159 and determine the winner of the The AFL Dave's Mom's Virtual Thanksgiving Pie Virtual-Thanksgiving-Pie-Guessing Contest, and announce the results on the AFL. The results, along with a transcript of the PM314159 input and output, will also be posted on the The Dave's Mom's Thanksgiving Pie web site.