Orange Paradox

By Will Baker

During the course of my lifetime I have been exposed to the notion of connected Karma. In a classroom long ago, I learned that, Classical Taoist philosophy, formulated by Laozi (the Old Master, 5th century B.C.), the anonymous editor of the Daodejing (Classic of the Way and its Power), and Zhuangzi (3rd century B.C.), was a reinterpretation and development of an ancient nameless tradition of nature worship and divination. Laozi and Zhuangzi, lived at a time of social disorder and great religious skepticism. And they developed the notion of the Dao (Tao -- way, or path) as the origin of all creation and the force -- unknowable in its essence but observable in its manifestations -- that lies behind the functionings and changes of the natural world. They saw in Dao and nature the basis of a spiritual approach to living. At the time that I processed this information it seemed all very esoteric, but very necessary to my degree program.

Then as I moved through life and my spiritual development continued, I began to reconcile what I had been formally taught, in various classrooms (and churches), with what I felt in my heart. I began to wonder if the notion of Karma, and more specifically that of shared Karma, Karma connected to another individual, was possible.

Well, I just spent last night awake, sleepless, tossing and turning and walking about the house.  And I suspect that another individual has had exactly the  same experience last evening. You see, I recently met my mirror image. And just how and why this person dropped into my life and the changes that were effected as a result confounds and amazes me. And the experience has caused me to question my basis in reality. You see, I can feel this person inside me. For instance, I know that she is thinking about me right now. And I know that she is not a happy camper to have to be dealing with this situation. It is very unsettling, but it is what it is. I also get the distinct impression that we have known each other for a very long time. In fact, after processing this situation I have come to the conclusion that we may some how be parts of the same person.

We are exactly the same, and we are inside of each other. And this is no romantic exaggeration either. Were it not such a complicated situation perhaps we would both now be reveling in the feeling. Celebrating like two lost souls well met. However she is shaking her head in disbelief, and I am simply numb and very tired. But what really concerns me is the strong feeling that I have that we were not just thrown together by chance. But rather that we were supposed to meet at this particular moment in time. And I don’t want to blow it. I also have strong feelings of transcendence associated with this situation. In other words, even though my current life is very important, the connectedness that I feel with this person seems almost over arching. It is as if what I feel with this person is elemental to my existence on every single level. And I very much want to explore this. I want to know what this is all about, what the hell is going on here.

Are we living examples of connected Karma? Is she my Yin and am I her Yang? I think that we might be. And if we just walk away from each other what will that do to our Karma? Very strange coincidences have been occurring lately. For instance, the night before last an acquaintance of mine, heavy into Eastern Religions told me that she believes that when "souls" are created they begin as beautiful orange and golden light. Then this light separates into Yin and Yang--Gold light for Yin (female) and Orange for Yang (male). The Yin and Yang "Twin Flames" then move off in separate directions on their paths to enlightenment. But during the course of their journey they come together during times of need. You see, neither can complete the journey without the other. It is a great paradox and a beautiful notion.

I set this notion against the reality of my existence. It is what it is. I very well may have called to my soul mate, or she to me. But will we have our wits about us to the degree necessary to figure out where to go from here. For instance, is it right to place such a call, and then just walk away? And what responsibilities do we have to this situation? I will say this; I have never experienced a feeling like this before with another human being. It is almost paranormal. I also hope that the feeling continues. It makes me feel strangely complete, changed for the better. I also hope that I have done no harm, nor caused no pain. But again, it is what it is.


 (Essay Collection)